Back to
E-mail me
My fortune cookie proverb collection:

I have been collecting fortune cookie fortunes for a little over a year, the stupider the fortune the more likely I am to keep it. The idea to start collecting these started with probably one of the stupidest fortunes I got. Here is the little collection I have received (as well as some of my commentary on it).

Promote literacy. Buy a box of fortune cookies today.
(no I am not kidding you, this was an ACTUAL fortune I got. I got the advertisement cookie of the box! By the way this is also the fortune that started this little collection.)
Rest has a peaceful effect on your physical and emotional health
( nothing like a cookie telling you that you need more sleep. They got wise to the fact that college kids eat lots of Chinese food apparently.)
The secret of staying young is good health, and lying about your age.
Do what you can. Money will follow.
Something nice is coming o you in the mail.
(the scary part about this cookie was the fact that it was right 0.o)
Your uniqueness is more than an outward experience.
Your luck has been completely changed today.
( Is this a good thing or a bad thing? )
You will always possess a charm and sense of humor that attracts others.
The hard times will begin to fade. Joy will take their place.
Be careful not to overspend.
Great... the cookie is starting to sound like my mom)
You are a man of righteousness and integrity.
Some pursue happiness; you create it.
You have tasted both the bitterness and sweetness of coffee.
A quiet evening with friends is the best tonic for a long day.
Every person is the architect of his own fortune.
Now is the time to try something new.
(this is one of those cookies that lends itself far to well to the "in bed" ending)
Good advice jars the ear
There is no mistake so great as that of being always right.
Answer just what your heart prompts you.
A good way to keep healthy is to eat more Chinese food.
(why do I keep getting the advertisement cookies?)
Keep true to the dreams of your youth.
Never forget a friend, especially if he owes you.
He who knows he has enough is rich.
What you left behind is more mellow than wine.
( stupid rhyming cookies, what does this mean?)
You have a deep interest in all that is artistic.
(look! a cookie that fits me!)
Wisdom is the principal thing.
(um... principal thing of what exactly?)
Your future is as boundless as the lofty heaven.
You'll accomplish more if you start now.
( yes mother)
A tub and a rub will change your day.
( This was a cookie that one of my friends got. I am still trying to figure out if the cookie is trying to say "get layed", "take a bath" or, most likely, both)
Your heart is a place to draw true happiness.
You are about to embark on a most delightful journey.
Your many hidden talents will become obvious to those around you.
Great acts of kindness will befall you in the coming months.
Traveling this year will bring your life into greater perspective.
Your future is sweet.
You will attract cultured and artists people to your home.
To be content with little is true happiness.
A cheerful message is on its way to you
The smart thing is to prepare for the unexpected
Look with favor upon a bold beginning coming this year
The mightiest oak is in the forest is just a little nut that held its ground
Treat yourself with the same dignity and respect you give others
Do not rush through life, pause and enjoy it.
When both feet are planted firmly, nothing can shake you.
Turn off the TV and the computer and exercise your mind with a good book
Another mom fortune cookie
Accept what comes to you each day
A man's dreams are an index to his greatness.
Plan for many pleasures ahead.
(.... in bed)
A person is never too old to leNo problem leaves you where you found it.arn.
(I kid you not, this is not a typo on my part, the cookie actually said this. Sadly it was also not my cookie, someone else found it and hung it on the wall of my cubical.)
Be prepared to recieve something special within the week.